WIN A SCOTTISH LOIN RUBBING!!
Well, I just got off the phone with Willy. Things are not good! He was pretty upsetted about the break up of his band “Invisible Grampa”.
Pham, and his heroine problem finally did the band in. They couldn’t even keep it together long enough for their first show at The ValleyDale Home for Seniors Walker Hockey Semifinals Dance Social.
He was even sadder than the time his father told him that Hulk Hogan was a gay!
I just told him, Willy, “Let’s get out of Frown Town, and go play some TETHERBALL!”
I thought tetherball would have made Willy forget about his troublings. But, well, it didn’t. I beat him 15-1 and he only got the 1 because I let him have one at the end of the game so those awful guys in the local tetherball community wouldn't black ball him from tourneys.
So then, I told him that the STAN HARPLETON HIGHLAND DANCERS were gonna be at the fairgrounds Sunday! and he perked right up.
HE LOVES THOSE GUYS! He especially likes the part in the show where the dancers come out into the audience and challenge audience members to a dance off!, and the prize is you get to take one of the uglier girl dancers to the local Freezie King for dinner and something called a "Scottish Loin Rubbing".
BUT MOST PEOPLE NEVER EVEN WIN THE GIRL! cause the judges are all from Scotland, and they’re pretty hard on the contestants.
2 comments:
A friend of mine heard of somebody who won once. He said a Scottish Loin Rubbing was a lot like haggis - appealing, but oddly so.
Is his name Stan? I heard a story about him one tyme, i heard it cause some sort of rash that made his testicles fall off during a shower. but nothing about haggis . . .
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