WOLFTOWN, USA – March 8

Location: (Behind) Sampson’s Roller-Rama

PURPOSE: To have fun, and talk about wolves with likeminded wolf-buffs!!

Start Tyme: 4:45 PM (SORRY FOR MICHEL'S LATE!)


Roll Call

In attendance: Michel Johansen, Autumn, Sanji, Guy named Alan, Brad Dongell, Kirk Jansen, Randy Poffo, Jeremy Mullis

Absent: Ricky Jones (excused for inability leave jail freely)


Leadership Team:

Michel Johansen – president/activities coordinator/sign-painter/PR

Brad Dongell (filling in for Ricky since he is in the jail) - accountant/snack coordinator/authenticity consultant


Welcoming Howl to members!
(and visiting elementary school class from Johnson Middle School)

Ceremonial urine bath of new members KIRK JANSEN, RANDY POFFO, AND JEREMY MULLIS!!! (and visiting elementary school class from Johnson Middle School)

Freshly urine-soaked Olde Timey wigs passed out to the new members (and visiting elementary school class from Johnson Middle School)


MEETING THEME:

Teach children your favorite Wolf Craft!!

SANJI – showed the children how to make his hand look like a wolfs hand by taping coffee stirrers to his fingers, and spraying something called “Good Looking Hair” onto his hands. The children were delighted by the spray hair.

AUTUMN – showed us all how to make a “wolf headband” out of a rubber band. It was made of a rubber band that she said “looked VERY similar to a wolf’s tendon”? Demonstration did not last long because she just put it on her head, and howled, and laughed uncomfortably, then cried. So did the children.

RICKY – absent (jail)

MICHEL – taught the kids how to wipe tears from their eyes with wolf themed napkins. Children were delighted to learn that with just a couple of red and black colored markers, 20 burlap napkins, crushed Ritz crackers, and a small amount of motor oil, that they can also make their very own “Wolf-kins”.

ALAN – showed the kids how to tie-die tank tops and headbands with ACTUAL wolf blood. THE KIDS LOVED ALAN, once the “fresh blood” smell went away.

BRAD – used his “Craft Tyme” to question WolfTown, USA’s need to have “so many” “actual” wolf fluids at meetings. Key Points: “it stinks”, “it’s hard to kill wolves without a gun”, and “can you guys get me a gun? cause I can’t go within 100 feet of a gun store ever since this thing I did”.

KIRK – just kind of pointed at the children menacingly with what he calls his “bad finger” and told him that he was gonna “burn them good, like the others” if they don’t stop staring at his peg leg. Was REALLY proud of his full body wolf suit (and how well it covered his peg leg). Children learned NOTHING about crafts. Several learned about urinating in their short pants.

RANDY – does not speak English, so we had no idea what he was saying. But, it looked like he was trying to spit as far as he could.

JEREMY – using charcoal, newsprint, and his a personal collection of earwax “dating back to ‘82”, drew a VERY REALISTIC version of a scar he received while he and a friend went “drunk hunting” for wolves back in grade school.


SNACK TYME! (Nice job Brad!)

Snacks served (on wolf themed napkins):

-Salmon Flavored Air Cakes
-Mongolian Black Beef FreezRs
-Mocha Cola
-Tasty Dozens Pig Flakes
-Choco Dawgs! (Michel’s new favorite snack!)


DISCUSSION TYME:

KIRK: Led a discussion of how “necessary” the urine bath is for new members.

WOLFTOWN USA CONCLUSION: VERY IMPORTANT

AUTUMN: Discussed how she was going to not come to meetings any more, and asked to be taken off the email list for WolfTown, USA. She also admitted that her “craft” was not really a craft and that she only said she liked wolves to get closer to Sanji because she loved him and he loves wolves because he’s Indian.

WOLFTOWN USA CONCLUSION: Autumn is a racist, and is no longer allowed at meetings, (AND MUST give her olde timey wig back IMMEDIATELY)

Ending Howl (officially banishing Autumn from WolfTown, USA)

END TYME: 5:53